James and I were recently delighted to play a short session for the City on a Hill actual play podcast. They run a 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons game, and we were adventuring in a corner well away from the main storyline. The DM, Ryan, instructed us that the only available races were Gnomes, Halflings and Warforged (sort of a cross between a golem and cyborg—a constructed being with a full personality). I’ve played my share of halflings in the past (alas, poor brain-damaged Willem Baggins), and a Warforged didn’t sound interesting to me, so I decided to try a gnome. Since gnomes are among the smallest and weakest of typical D&D races, I naturally decided he should be a Fighter—the mightiest gnome of Clan Spitlk! (That’s pronounced “Spittle Lick,” and yes, it is a Superman reference.) I present Feddernik Singsangsung Thrubmorton:
As the eldest son of the Thrubmorton family of Clan Spitlk, Feddernik stands to eventually inherit his grandfather’s responsibilities as governor of the Thrubmorton Fens. In addition to his own quite large family, Fed is on good terms with the other gnomes in and around the Fens, as well as a few tribes of other races. He strongly believes that a governor’s purpose is to protect and improve the people, not to enrich himself. He tends to be contemptuous and disrespectful of rulers who do not measure up to this ideal, which gets him in hot water when dealing with typical nobles.
Fed left the Fens in order to gain a broader experience of the world and make contacts among the people with whom he would one day need to negotiate. That plan has gone somewhat off the rails since he really doesn’t get along with the leadership of most other races. He’s gone haring off into a life of adventure instead of performing his duties (which, given his idealistic views of governance, is a bit hypocritical, but it doesn’t seem like he’s twigged to that yet).
Standing over 4 feet tall, Feddernik is massive for a gnome. If not for his slender build, he might be mistaken for a dwarf. If there were any dwarves in… Injornu? (Ryan never typed that name, and although he said it quite a few times, I am not quite sure I have it correct.)
Fed is a fashion plate. He delights in fine clothing and is typically the best dressed person in a given room, especially by gnomish standards. He keeps his beard closely trimmed to an elegant point on his chin. He’d like to grow it longer, but it’s not such a good idea to give an enemy something to grab.
Although as a rule, gnomes tend to immerse themselves in thoughtful pursuits, Feddernik’s brash personality and unusual stature have led him down a different path. He is a skilled with sword and shield, and he prefers to be heavily armored if there is any risk of battle. Even if he doesn’t style himself an intellectual, though, he is still wickedly clever and is likely to find an unconventional solution to most problems. But when it comes time to hit something with his sword, he never shirks.
He has a big personality, and when he’s fired up, he is prone to give self-aggrandizing speeches. Ideally, his enemies would throw down their weapons rather than facing a gnome of such power, but more often than not, the speech merely serves to give his comrades time to get into position and to draw the first volley of attacks to himself rather than to anyone less capable of taking a hard blow.
Feddernik Singsangsung Thrubmorton
Level 2 Rock Gnome Fighter
Max HP: 20 Hit Dice: 2d10
Armor Class: 18 (chainmail), 11 (unarmored)
Proficiency Bonus: +2
Strength: 15 / +2 Dexterity: 12 / +1 Constitution: 15 / +2
Intelligence: 15 / +2 Wisdom: 10 / +0 Charisma: 10 / +0
Strength +4 (Proficiency)
Constitution +4 (Proficiency)
Wisdom and Charisma: +0
Gnome Cunning: Gets Advantage on Int, Wis, and Cha throws against magic
Skill Proficiencies: History (Int) +4, Insight (Wis) +2, Intimidation (Cha) +2, Persuasion (Cha) +2
Artificer’s Lore: Adds his Proficiency Bonus twice on History rolls related to magic items, alchemical objects, or technological devices.
Longsword: +4 attack, 1d8+2 slashing damage
Crossbow: +3 attack, 1d8+2 piercing damage, range 80/320
Armor: Chainmail, Armor Class 16. Shield, +2 to AC.
Other Equipment of Note:
Bag of Holding, fine clothing, signet ring, scroll of pedigree
Tinker (gnome): Proficiency with Tinker’s Tools. Can spend 1 hour and 10 gp worth of materials to make small clockwork devices, such as toys and music boxes, that will function for 24 hours.
Protection Fighting Style (fighter): If he is using a shield, when a creature attacks a target other than Feddernik within 5 feet of him, he can use his Reaction to impose Disadvantage on the attack roll.
Second Wind (fighter): Can use a Bonus Action to regain 1d10 + 2 Hit Points. Feddernik must take a short rest before he can use this ability again,.
Action Surge (fighter): Feddernik can take an additional standard action on his turn. He must take a short rest before he can use this ability again.
I don’t remember where the portrait came from. Likely it was in one of the Dundjinni community collections. If whoever created it sees it and objects to my use here, please do let me know. I’d be happy to provide attribution.